Monday, July 18, 2011

Would you read a book...................?

It seems like an interesting read. Though your sentences are a little run on. You should try to describe in more detail the actions that are happening. You can't just skip scenes like going to the castle or the King showing you all the rooms in the castle. You should describe those scenes and what Black Robe is feeling at the time. Your grammar needs a lot of work as well.

No comments:

Post a Comment