I cannot forgive myself for the terrible thing i did to my friend. How do you work on the forgiveness of self.?

I'm never one to apologize for my feelings, maybe my actions and never my feelings. I get that u were upset and u retreat ur actions but if she was a true friend she would have responded to the first email and maybe the other ones u would have send wouldnt have been so harsh. Feeling manipulated and used is a valid emotion and I don't think that u would just be making that up. U maybe retraction ur initial thought bcuz ur so ridden with guilt but, don't use ur guilt as an excuse. U wanted a apology, u wanted her to acknowledge what she did was wrong so what u did was a cry for help. It was the release of built up stress and frustration, although it may have been wrong to tell her the way u did none the less its how she made u feel. Some ppl do not how to appreciate a nice person or know how to be a real friend. Don't feel bad for what u did a real friend can forgive and forget especially since uve been Soo good to her. If all she did was just x u out of her life then u just need to move on. Stand firm on ur position and move on. Time heals all